Things I've Learned - Having a Two Year Old
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~ The Terrible Twos...
** It's a misconception, because it starts before they actually HIT two years old.
** You hear about them, but don't really know what they are until you are experiencing them first hand. We've all seen a kid do something rotten, behave badly, got a glimpse of the uglier side of a toddler run wild... but we don't go home with that child. When that child is yours, it's not a glimpse - it's an all day every day kinda occurrence that you can't escape and can bring a full grown man to his knees.
** I now KNOW what a real tantrum is. Blood red face, ear-splitting-glass-shattering-mind-turning-to-mush screams, thrashing limbs, head butts, clawing, and/or biting. It can be like trying to contain a very angry, three foot tall tornado of fury. It's not pretty, and someone almost always gets hurt in some way - emotionally, physically, mentally....
** A two year old HAS NO FEAR. I can talk in a voice and give a look that would stop a sane adult in their tracks and make them quake with fear, but my two year old will LAUGH.
** Telling a two year old not to do something is equivalent to promising them candy if they'll do it right that instant with as much gusto and verve they can scrounge up. "Don't spit on Mommy!" means "Shower Mommy with your spit and I'll give you ten pounds of Hershey's Kisses!" to a two year old.
** A two year old will KNOW what they are doing is bad, wrong, against the rules AND DO IT ANYWAY. Like Nemo whacking that boat (aka "butt" says the little Seahorse) with his fin while glaring at Marlin (his Dad) while Marlin is saying in his sternest parental figure voice "Touch that boat, Nemo, and so help me...."
** A two year old will push and test and destroy the patience of even the most stalwartly prepared person. The only hope you can have is that you aren't holding sharp knives when the last straw breaks that poor abused camel's back...
** My son has inspired me to say such things as "He's a Demon. He must be destroyed for the good of mankind!!", "That whole "it takes a village" approach to child rearing is more like "it takes an army... with weapons (preferably tasers).." in MY book!", "How can something THAT cute be THAT evil???", "He just LOOKS like an angel, he's really the Devil..."..... He's a cherubic Dennis the Menace meets Damian... I swear!
Don't get me wrong. I love my kids. I'd take a bullet for and rip, maim, and/or destroy anyone or anything that hurt them. BUT HOLY COW! They never mentioned THIS in the manual..................
Alright, I'm headed to bed.... To be woken up at 3 in the morning with him banging on my door as he cries out "KNOCK, KNOCK, MOMMY, KNOCK, KNOCK!!" Ahhhh, yes, the joys..... =P
Jennifer Glass
1-30-09
Becky Katz Level 8 Commenter 3 months ago
I feel for you and will give you a tip that stopped my three from having tantrums. Calmly and coolly, look at them and start coaching them in Tantrum 101. This involves telling them that to properly throw a tantrum, they need to lay on their stomachs on the floor and kick and pound the floor with their fists. Tell them that they need to scream louder and longer.
This basically stops your injuries because you are confining them to the floor out of reach of you. Secondly, this will wear them out faster and they will stop. If they have even a shade of humor left in them, it will end up with them laughing while you tell them to keep pounding.
And finally, when they see that they are not getting the reaction from you that they want, they will give up tantrums as a bad technique for getting their own way. The tantrums will come to a gradual end. It worked on all three of mine. I got the idea from the Andy Griffith show. It works. Good luck and good hub.