I'm Pregnant... (Poem)

Big, round belly sticking out in front of me –
It has its own gravitational pull, watch out unwary!
I just sat down, fresh back from the toilet, and already have to pee…
Yep, I'm pregnant…

I'm thirty five weeks, no I'm not having twins –
It's another boy, we're racing to the finish, let's see who wins!
I'm glad this waddle ain't permanent and standing won't always give me the spins…
Yep, still pregnant…

My tummy itches, my back hurts, I've got mood swings –
Sick and tired, now we ALL get to see what 'joy' love truly brings!
Glad my husband's stuck with me, deals with my gas and other lovely things…
Yep, yep, I'm pregnant…

So what I sleep with four or five pillows and three fans –
I'm huge, hot, in pain, and need support, you don't wanna see me sans!
He rocks the couch, or his one pillow, shivering, sure it wasn't part of his plans…
Yep, he has to deal, 'cause I'm pregnant…

Almost there, excited, getting nervous, still don't have a name –
Who procrastinates about naming their child? How very, very lame!
If we GET there without one, I'm choosing, and I won't promise it'll be tame…
Yep, you guessed it – I'm pregnant…

Weight gain, headaches, nausea, sleeplessness, heartburn –
Exhaustion, forgetfulness, I've already said next time it's his turn!
So what if guys can't be pregnant, that's not a good excuse, not that I can discern…
Yep, I'm all about being pregnant…

I whine, my organs are squished, there's an irony here –
I knowingly did this again, and would again in a second, never fear!
'Cause I feel his kicks, I've seen his face, I love him, and he's what I hold dear…
Yep, he's worth it, and I'm glad I'm still pregnant.

Jennifer Glass
10/9/08